Human beings have two chief orientations that guide all our behaviors: the first is toward pleasure and the second is toward meaning. Pleasure is passive; it comes from various forms of stimulation. Meaning is active; it comes from something we do.
Meaning comes to us through the relationships we form with family, friends and neighbors; it comes to us through the beauty we experience as we move through the world; it comes to us through the things we create and the experiences that cause us to grow. The word we most often use to describe a meaningful experience is “deep.â€
Pleasure comes to us passively through substances we consume and the entertainments we enjoy. We also experience pleasure whenever we find relief from pain: an itch that is scratched, a drink of cold water on a hot day, a funny video when we are bored. We often describe pleasures as shallow or superficial. They tend to be short-lived. We enjoy pleasures but they don’t help us grow. They don’t accomplish anything.
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Most of us spend our time moving back and forth from one orientation to the other, sometimes seeking meaning, sometimes seeking pleasure. Both orientations are necessary for a complete and fulfilling life. However, sometimes one or the other comes to dominate in an individual or a culture. At this point in U.S. history, pleasure-seeking is dominant in our society. It wasn’t always this way.
Nothing reflects this shift toward pleasure-seeking more than the changing attitudes toward Lent, the 40-day period leading up to Easter in which Christians remember the time Jesus spent fasting in the wilderness. Traditionally, it has been a time of widespread prayer, reflection, abstention and charitable giving. For those who wish to imitate the life of Christ, it is the most important time of the year.
Deacon Frank Abnet places ash on the foreheads of parishioners St. Patrick Church in Onalaska, Wis. on Ash Wednesday to mark the beginning of Lent in February 2024.
I have no idea how many Americans give something up for Lent, but surveys conducted over a decade ago found the figure was about 17%. Declines in religious participation since that time suggest the figure is probably much lower today.
Most Americans have no idea we are in the second week of Lent right now and probably don’t care.
That’s not because most Americans are non-religious. A on religion reports that 63% of Americans identify as Christian, and 83% believe in God or a universal spirit. In other words, most Americans hold religious beliefs; they just don’t engage in traditional religious practices, like fasting, confession, daily prayer and communal worship.
The trend toward spiritual beliefs divorced from religious practice reflects a larger societal shift toward values, which are beliefs we hold in our heads, and away from virtues, which are character traits developed through practice.
Why does this matter? Because we can only make space for meaning in our lives through the routines that enable us to give up the pursuit of pleasure for a time. And that is hard to do. It is why religious practices like prayer and fasting are done ritualistically and communally, so that we can support one another in the various forms of self-sacrifice that entail giving up something we enjoy. If individual willpower alone was enough to break habits of pleasure-seeking, more people would find it easy to keep their New Year’s resolutions.
We are living in a culture in which the majority of people have no ritual practices to help them restrain the impulse to pleasure. Yet, we have created technologies that stimulate pleasure receptors in the brain more effectively and reliably than ever. The result is that we live in a highly addictive society without the social support necessary to resist addictions.
No society in human history has had so much knowledge of how the brain functions. Much of that knowledge has been put to use producing products that stimulate the neurotransmitters that create addictive patterns of behavior. Thus, we are seeing huge increases in social media use, watching videos, shopping, gambling, drug use and pornography.
The problem is that there is a built-in limit to the amount of satisfaction we can attain through pleasure-seeking activities. The first cup of coffee in the morning is fantastic. The second is pretty good. The third and fourth just make one jittery. The same with potato chips, whiskey, marijuana and video games: moderate amounts are enjoyable; excessive amounts cause problems. The brain is a differential engine that rewards movement from one state to another. Once one has reached a pleasurable state, repeating the behaviors that got you there does not provide additional pleasure. More is never enough.
Meaning-making activities do not provide one with immediate pleasurable sensations, but they do provide long-term satisfaction. However, they require time and effort. The lack of immediate rewards means that one must be willing to forgo pleasure in the moment in order to find more lasting fulfillment.
The key to a satisfied life is not seeking ever more and greater pleasures; it is practicing the routines that allow one to rest from pleasure-seeking long enough to leave room for meaning-making.
